#148. Listen to me and hear me out....

I have a scary dream last night. I dreamed that I was deaf. I didn't know what to do. All I did was cry when I woke up from the hospital bed and nothing greeted me. No sound. No soft shuffles of movements. I thought it was just a sick delusional dream. I seriously thought so! But what the hell? I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. I can see their lips moving, but I hear nothing.

The loneliness then...I bet no one could describe it...

I was walking to UBD, our local University. (I don't know how that is possible in real life since UBD is miles away from my house and is soooo far.) I was just about to cross the road when a car came towards me at a high speed. The car struck me. Then the scene shifted to the hospital, with me waking up...not hearing anything...unable to listen to anything. I thought it was another of those bloody dreams then.

Miraculuosly, I survived...but my legs almost didn't make it. After a period of time, I managed to walk. But the damage to my ears were permanent. I was so fucking scared and lonely. It's like the people there are like I don't know...even though they were just standing beside you. You feel their presence but they're like statues cause I couldn't damn well listen or hear to whatever they're saying!

It's like I am in a world of my own! I can't describe this! ARGH! I was just soo scared and all I did was cry... I seriously didn't know what to do.. I think I sorta know how being deaf feels like.... When I turned my back, I was in my house, cancelling some of the calls. Turned again, my friends came in cause they haven't heard from me for a long time.

I realized I didn't tell them anything about my handicap. All I remembered next when I woke up was me latching myself onto Jackie, scribbling on a piece of paper and crying like the whole world depends on it...

Then I fucking realized my eyes are sticky and everything. WTF. I HAVE BEEN CRYING IN RL TOO.

Now that's just creepy!

ARGH. *does what Jackie did when i told her: TOUCHWOOD*

WTF IS THIS. DURING UNI LAGI TU WHICH STARTS (if i get in -cross fingers-) IN A FUCKIN FEW MONTHS.

T________________T

*touchmorewood*