Like super angry.
At no one in particular.
Just very pissed off at myself.
UGH.
I am so scared I won't be able to do the project on my own. I am more comfortable if I do it with someone else...who will want me to join their group. :(
But the thing is...no one wants me in their group. Perhaps it's because am not that close with them. I mean, heck, we just met or we never met buthey who knows they just saw some pictures and let's all leave out the asian bitch or something.
Hahhahaa.
Sorry. I shouldn't think badly about the people who I never talked with. It's just so unkind of me. I can't help it though...It hurts. In a way. I want to score in this project. I want to make them all proud of me.
I guess I can't. Maybe I should have just gone for internship and stay in Brunei or something. Least that will make my life less miserable. :(
I am not that worried about studies. I know I can do it if I put my mind to it. But the project is just killing me slowly. Maybe I should have said screw the diploma. I just want my credits. But noooo, I just have to say I want a diploma.
To be honest, I really really really want the diploma. A lot.
But I wanna experience working in a group. I wanna experience doing something worthwhile. I wanna experience something different. I don't wanna stay coop up in my room all day long trying to code something on my own.
I don't wanna. :(
Please let me have a group. Please.
So many bad things happened to me already. Being left out in discussions, being the only one who is different, having not much friends, being rejected by a group, having my uncle passed away... It's just too much to bear.
I may not be an academically good student but I can try. I will try.
So why can't anyone give me a chance in proving myself?
I may not be skilled in something but I honestly can learn. I am willing to learn. Just gimme a chance...
Please...?
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