#25. Journey

This is my own journal. This is my private journal. My private journal so I'm allowed to say whatever I want right? I don't know what's up with the posting thing today but I felt like it...because this is where I record things that happened in my life, be it sad or happy.  Yeah...my personal journal. But why do I feel like sometimes, I'm lying here?  Sometimes, I feel like I'm not speaking the truth or the truth is so far from me....

Cries. A journal is where you should express yourself. But why do I sometimes not feel that way? Maybe because I'm scared to hurt other people, sometimes I feel like I'm part of soemthing big and yet, am scared to admit it. I'm a coward. I really am a coward. I'm a coward for not owning up to things I do. I'm a coward for calling some peple my friends. I'm a coward for admitting the truth. I'm a coward for looking at people so happy....and carefree.

I'm a coward for loneliness.

I feel left out when tehy share something interesting. I feel left out when I found out they share a wonderful experience together. I feel left out when I see them sharing a thought. And not to mention that I feel so alone... I don't really know myself anymore..

I'm just scared to know that I'm not wanted. Mix signals....are painful.